Preposterous love
by Eric Border
Summary: The Joker accepts that he loves Harley but Ivy refuses to believe it but what happens when Ivy makes the ultimate betrayal. Two endings.
1. Chapter 1: The phone call

Joker had kicked Harley out again and again she went running off to Ivy's. It had been four days since she left usually she would have come running back to him by now but the phone call to tell him she was coming home had not come. Usually, even when Harley was gone, he was able to fall asleep as soon as he went to bed but for some reason he wasn't able to get one hour of sleep.

He stood up his back hurt, his head hurt, everything hurt. He walked into the bathroom and leaned on the sink staring into the mirror. He looked like shit. He stood there for a moment staring into the mirror, his hair was sweaty, and he had bags under his half closed eyes from lack of sleep.

All of a sudden he realized he felt an emptiness inside his chest, he missed Harley deeply but could it take this much of a toll on him? He knew that he loved her deep down but he couldn't let such feelings wreck his career, would it though? He need to work, for work he needs sleep and for sleep he needs Harley. He decided he needed to get Harley back and he was going to admit that he loved her.

He picked up the phone and dialled Poison Ivy's phone number, he heard the sound of the phone being answered

" _Hello?_ " he noticed the voice as poison Ivy's

"Hello Ivy" Joker said in an impatient voice

" _Oh its you, what do you want"_

"To order a pizza, what you think I want! I want to talk to Harley!"

Ivy was aggravated by his sarcasm but couldn't be bothered arguing with him and gave the phone to Harley

" _Mistah J"_

He knew it had only been a couple of days since he last saw here but he was so happy to hear her voice again

" _Hello, are you still there?"_

He realised he had not answered for almost a minute

"Hello, Harley"

" _Did you need something Mistah J?"_

"Oh no, well uhh sort of umm"

" _What?"_

He was hesitant to tell her but suddenly the word came out without him thinking about it

"I love you Harley"

There was silence, it was almost like she had fainted, until she broke the silence

" _R-really"_

"…Yes"

" _Can I come home now?"_

She could see Ivy frowning out the corner of her eye but she didn't care

"Of course you can, your babies miss you"

" _I'll come as soon as I can"_

She hung up the phone and run into her room with a cheerful grin on her face. She started packing her things as quick as she could until Ivy grabbed her by the shoulders

"Are you seriously going to go crawling back to that abusive asshole?!"

"But he loves me Red"

"That's what you said the last time you left and here you are two months later in the exact same position"

"No he means it this time!"

"I would never believe that for one second"

Harley pulled away from her.

"I'm leaving, you'll see!"

She packed the rest of her things and began walking her way back to her puddn's beloved arms.


	2. Chapter 2: Shes coming to take her away

Joker was sitting on the couch looking at a photo of Harley when he heard a knock on the door, he got up and quickly put the photo back on the shelf where it belonged. He knew he already seemed needy but he didn't want to seem **that** needy. He walked over to the door to realize that he was fixing his hair as he walked, this was odd behaviour even for him. He open the door to see Harley standing in the rain drenched from head to toe, she then lunged into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist kissing him passionately, he was quick to return the kiss, he'd missed her so much that he didn't even care that his clothes were getting wet in the rain.

She broke the kiss "miss me puddin?"

"You have no idea"

She then noticed the bags under his eyes and gasped at the sight of them

"Mistah J, when was the last time you got any sleep?!"

"Not since you left"

She felt somewhat touched by the fact that he was so affected by her absence but she was still worried.

"You need to go to bed!"

"I can't get to sleep without you"

"I'm coming too silly"

She giggled, usually it would irritate him if she called him names other than her usual ones and he had every intention of yelling at her but all that he managed to get out was a silent chuckle as she started pushing him toward their bedroom.

Harley laid down next to Joker slowly falling asleep until she felt his warm body press against hers as he wrapped his arm gently around her stomach and the other resting underneath his head forming a V shape. She missed his warmth. They both fell asleep enjoying each other's company.

 **4 in the morning**

There was a loud knock on the door and Joker woke up to see Harley sleeping peacefully next to him. The knock came again as he got up making sure not to wake Harley as he did so. He opened the door rubbing his eyes to see Poison Ivy standing in the door way. She looked away as she did not want to see Joker shirtless in his pyjamas.

"May I help you?" he sounded irritated but still tired

"I want to see Harley" Ivy replied sounding worried

"She's sleeping"

"I want to see her"

Ivy was beginning to lose her patience

"Come back later"

He began to close the door before Ivy forcefully pushed the door back open and walked inside towards the bedroom.

"Ivy what the fuck are you doing?!" Joker asked following her.

Ivy didn't answer and continued into the bedroom turning the light on causing Harley wake up, Ivy walked up to the bed looking Harley up and down.

"Are you ok Harley did he hurt you?"

Harley sat up still half asleep

"You don't have any cuts or bruises?"

"Ivy what are you doing?!" Joker said from the doorway sounding astounded by her behaviour, Harley started to become more aware of what was going on around her.

"Red what are you doing here?"

"I've come to take you back to my house"

"What?! No!" Joker yelled pulling Ivy away from Harley

"I am not going to let you keep her here against her will and I will not let you hurt her again!"

"I'm not trying to hurt her!"

"You say that all the time but it always happens eventually!"

The argument between Ivy and Joker caused Harley to start crying.

"Look you're scaring her!" Ivy screamed at the Joker as she sat down next to Harley in order to comfort her.

"You're the one scaring me!" Harley said starting to cry more.

Harley pulled away from Ivy and ran into Jokers arms pressing her head into his chest. Harley's tears began to run from her cheeks down Jokers bare chest. Joker looked at Ivy, he was taken by surprise at her actions. Ivy had never behaved like this before.

"I want you to leave now" The Joker said in a stern voice

Ivy left without saying a word but thinking to herself.

 _What was I thinking barging into their house like that but I know Joker is going to hurt her, he always does. Harley says he'll change but I can't let myself believe that for one moment for Harley's safety. The Joker isn't just broken, he's destroyed,_ _ **unfixable.**_

 **Meanwhile inside**

Harley was still clinging to The Joker, he softly patted her hair to comfort her. He could feel her shaking in his arms which made him feel increasingly aggravated at Ivy but that wasn't important right now, what was important was helping Harley feel better.

A while later he was sitting in the living room with Harley cuddled up to him while they were watching TV. Harleys face was red from crying but just being with her lover made her happy, Harley slowly pulled herself up to Jokers lips kissing him deeply, Joker didn't particularly like kissing but he thought as long as it made Harley happy he was willing to do anything for her.

Joker pulled Harley on to his lap not breaking the kiss as Harley closed her thighs on his hips, cupping her hands on his cheeks. She enjoyed these moments of intimacy between them since they were so rare. She felt Jokers arm around her lower back as he rested his other hand on the back of her head softly. Suddenly Joker forced her lips apart allowing his tongue to enter her mouth, she moaned silently with pleasure.

 **Morning**

Joker's pants were on the floor next to Harley's underwear, her bra was on the side table and her singlet and pants were thrown on the dresser. Joker had his arm around Harley while she was laying on his chest. He leaned down and kissed her forehead causing her to wake up, she smiled and kissed him softly ask he smiled back.

Suddenly someone pulled up into the alley way neither of them noticed, just proceeded into a heavy make out session on the bed. Ivy got out the car and headed towards the front door.

She's coming to take her away.


	3. Chapter 3: Bonding time

Ivy didn't bother knocking she just barged straight in looking through all the rooms of the house. The two lovers didn't realize, they just laid on the bed kissing each other passionately before being interrupted by Ivy slamming the door open. Ivy was shocked at the sight of what she had just walked into, seeing Joker bare chest was bad enough but butt naked was worse. Harley screamed covering herself with the blanket clinging onto her counterpart, The Joker was far calmer.

"If you excuse me and my girlfriend were having a privet moment"

"Oh I'm sorry I'll just wait outside the door for you to make yourselves presentable"

Ivy left the room before the couple had a chance to argue against her, Joker sighed heavily

"What's up her ass?" Joker asked clearly fed up with Ivy's little games

"She's worried about me that's all"

"Well she needs to calm down"

The Joker and Harley got off the bed to make themselves presentable, they opened the door to see a very angry Ivy standing on the other side.

"So what do you want weed girl?"

Harley tapped him on the arm.

"Don't be rude, if you want Red to trust you insulting her is not the way to get it"

"She has a point" Ivy pointed out smugly.

Joker considered Harley's statement and decided to take a gentler less 'violent psychopathic asshole' approach.

"Ok, how may I be of service" Joker says as he bowed to Ivy

Ivy rolled her eyes "I want to take Harley back to my house, away from you"

"Why? Red I'm fine"

"I know that he'll abuse you, mental or physical either way I don't want to leave you here with this asshole"

"Does it look like I've tried to hurt her? Really, do you see any bruises on her?" Joker said as he gestured to Harley

Ivy looked her up and down "I guess not but I know it's coming!"

"No wonder you can't get a boyfriend, you think that you're always right!"

Joker was starting to get infuriated at Ivy

"It is not your responsibility to decide where Harley lives, she can decide for herself!"

All of a sudden Ivy went quiet, it was like she had crawled back into her shell.

"I'm worried about-"

Joker cut her off before she could say any more

"Who do you think you are trying to control her like this?! Hmm?!"

 **Ivy's thoughts**

 _He's right, who do I think I am trying to control what Harley does and where she lives_

 _No! I'm doing this for her own good!_

 _She deserves better then him_

 _She deserve someone who will love her and take care of her_

 _Or does he actually love her this time?_

 _Oh my god, I can't get the image of those two sitting naked on the bed_

 _It disgusts me every time I think about it_

 **Now**

Joker snapped his fingers in front of her face, Ivy realized she must have been blankly staring at him for the past 5 minutes. That was embarrassing.

"Wow Ivy, I knew I was attractive but I didn't know I was that good looking" He chuckled

He was teasing her and that was even more embarrassing.

"Listen here clown! I have had it with the way you treat Harley and if she won't stand up to you I will!"

"I'm not giving her up to you, you useless whore!"

"Yes you will you son of a bitch!"

Harley hated it when they called each other names, she didn't know why they couldn't just be friends, then she got an idea. She knew they wouldn't like it but she at least had to try.

"Don't you dare say that to me again you stupid dame!"

"Guys" Harley asked to quietly for either of them to hear

"I'll say it again and you won't be able to anything about it! Clown prince my ass!"

Harley lost her patience and screamed " **Guys!** "

They both stopped arguing and looked at Harley with surprise mixed with fearful looks on their faces, Harley was glad to get her say for once.

"I want to stay with Joker-"

"But Harley!" Ivy cut her off

"Let me finish!"

Ivy and Joker were both startled and impressed by Harley's sudden sense of authority

"I think that it would be a good idea for you two to get to know each other and see that neither of you are as bad as the other thinks you are"

"What exactly are you suggesting" Joker asked with curiosity

"I think Mistah J should stay at your house for a while and spend some time getting to know you, you know bonding time"

"What?!" Joker and Ivy said simultaneously, astonished that Harley would suggest such a thing.


	4. Chapter 4: I think I love him

The joker and Ivy were sitting at opposite sides for the room at Ivy's house, Harley had given them no choice, she said they had to sit down and become friends.

 **Joker thoughts**

 _Friends? With the weed?_

 _Oh no I am not making friends with her_

 _I'll just sit here until Harley realizes that this was never going to work_

 _I wish I could be with my sweet Harley girl_

 _But no, I have hang out with the plant_

 **Now**

"I hate this" Ivy said in a stern tone not making eye contact with Joker

"Well I'm not exactly too thrilled about it either Pam" The Joker replied "As if I want to spend my next couple of days with no one but a weed lady to keep me company"

Ivy ignored him but he continued talking anyway

"You're like one of those people who'll die alone with about 50 cats but instead of cats you'd have plants, which makes it even sadder"

"You have your opinion, I have mine"

"If only it was that simple with you about Harley"

"Hey I'm doing this for her own good!"

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I really do love Harley?"

"It crossed my mind"

"Well maybe you should think about actually considering it"

"You love her?"

The Joker stayed silent, he loved Harley but he didn't know whether he was able to admit it to anyone other than Harley herself.

"Say it" Ivy demanded in a teasing voice

"I-I…"

"Come on Jay, you can do better than that"

"I love Harley"

Ivy was shocked, sure she was teasing him about it but she didn't think he'd actually end up saying it

"Really? I thought you had no feeling except for angry and psychopathically happy"

Ivy looked at The Joker and to her surprise he looked completely serious and that didn't happen often. She stood up and sat down next to him, he then gave her a look that said 'too close'. So she shuffled away from him.

"Why don't you ever tell her?"

"I do and anyway why should you know? What goes on between me and Harley is our business"

"Jeez ok, I didn't know you were that sensitive about it"

The Joker glared at her, he was many things but above all he was not sensitive.

"I'm not sensitive"

Ivy just realized that what she said was not a good idea and he was right it wasn't any of her business to ask about the Jokers love life. How was he right again? Somehow he was always right. Even if he was a complete psychopath he was a smart psychopath.

"Sorry it wasn't my place to ask"

The Joker was surprised at her sudden apology, Ivy never apologised to anyone especially him. They both were beginning to think that the other wasn't as bad as they first thought.

"I can see why Harley likes you" The Joker said all of a sudden

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're a leader but not exactly a good follower so maybe we're not so different after all"

 **Ivy's thoughts**

 _He was right, maybe there are certain features about him that I had overlooked_

She looked at his eyes they were bright green

 _Were they always that green?_

 _And that smile_

 _For some reason it seems so-so_

 _No this can't be happening_

 _I can't be falling for the Joker!_

 _But he does have a sort of je ne sai quo feel to him_

 _No!_

 **Now**

Ivy found herself staring at The Joker with interest

"Uhh Pam? Are you ok? What are you staring at?"

Ivy was starting to move closer to Joker without thinking about it

"Pam?"

She sat there leaning into to him as he leaned away. This was a weird feeling for Ivy, she hated men and would never let one seduce her. Now it was happening, with Joker of all people.

"Pam you're freaking me out" The Joker said as he tried to lean as far away from her as he could until Ivy grabbed his face and laid a kiss on his lips, The Jokers eye were wide open as he tried to process what was happening. What was Harley going to think?


	5. Chapter 5: Betrayal

Ivy pulled Joker up by the shirt and shoved him against the wall kissing him and started to unbutton the top of his shirt until The Joker pushed her away.

"Red?"

Ivy turned to see Harley standing in the doorway of the front door. The Joker was looking at Ivy panting from the extremity of the kiss he was just forced to endure.

"Ivy what the fuck was that?" was all he managed to get out.

"Red what were you doing?"

Joker and Harley were both staring at her waiting for her to explain herself "I-I don't know what came over me"

Harley started to cry, Ivy walks towards her to comfort her and apologise but before she got the chance Harley run into the Jokers arms. The Joker held onto her looking at Ivy, it broke Joker heart to see Harley so upset.

"Harley I'm so-"  
"No!" Harley turned to Ivy still clinging onto the Joker "Don't you ever come near us again!"

The Joker left with Harley in his arms with a disgusted look on his face.

 **Later at Jokers house**

Harley was sitting on the couch sobbing into her hands as the Joker came in and sat next to her. He gave her a cup of hot chocolate like she had asked him for.

"Why would she do that?!"

The Joker couldn't think of anything to make her feel better, he wasn't used to comforting people and didn't know what to say. So he just put his arms around her and she nuzzled herself into his chest soaking his shirt with tears.

"Harley, I love you and only you, you're my other half"

Her cry dulled down a bit, she pulled away a bit to make eye contact with him.

"You're not going to leave me?"

The Joker looked back at her somewhat hurt that she'd even think that he'd leave her for Ivy.

"I'd never leave you for Ivy, you're my other half remember?"

"You mean it"

""Of course I do"

His smile comforted her as she stopped crying. He pulled her back into his embrace, as he did so he felt his shirt being unbuttoned again but this time he didn't mind.

 **Meanwhile at Ivy's**

"What was I thinking?! How could I let him get to me?! I know, he's trying to get Harley to trust him more than me! I knew it! I would never **ever** let myself be seduced by a man! I bet he kissed me and made it look like I did it!"

Ivy was yelling accusations to make herself feel better because she knew that she was the one to kiss him and not the other way around, she felt so guilty. She had broken her only friend's heart and she'll never trust her again. Maybe Joker was right when he said that she'd die alone with all of her plants. Ivy felt horrible but Harley was probably feeling worse.

 **Joker's house**

Harley slammed him again the wall kissing him passionately as she finish unbuttoning his shirt. They held each other in a strong embrace as they pressed their lips together. Harley then pulled him into his bedroom slamming the door behind her, their hyenas sat at the door guarding the door from more unwanted intrusions.

Moment later the hyenas heard the moans from the couple inside causing them to drop their ears hoping to block out the noise of their masters.

 **Ivy's house**

Ivy was pacing through her house screaming loud enough for the Joker himself able to hear her. Somehow she had convinced herself that everything was the Joker fault and just the thought of it infuriated her to oblivion.

"It's all his fault he wants Harley all to himself and this was his way of getting that. **He** was the one who ruined our friendship and I'm going to kill him for what he has done"


	6. Ending 1: Forgive me

Harley awoke to the sounds of gunshots outside of their house she sat up in their bed to turn on the lamp when she realized that the stop next to her was unusually cold. She leaned over and turned on the lamp to see that The Joker was nowhere to be found.

"Puddn'?" she asked as she got dressed into her pyjamas and when out into the ally way that lead to their house where she had heard the gunshots from. She was shocked at what she found, she saw her beloved puddn' on the ground sitting against the wall bleeding profusely. Just before she could run to his side she saw Poison Ivy and she was holding the gun.

"Stay away from him Harley this is for your own good" Ivy said pointing the gun at the Jokers chest.

"Red what are you doing to him?!"

"I'm going to finally end this, all the people he's killed and abused, the many times he's tried to embarrass and insult me. It all ends now" Ivy yelled not taking her eyes off the Joker sitting against the wall helpless from blood loss.

"Ivy wait! No!" Harley yelled in desperation lunging at Ivy in a last effort to save the Joker from death. Ivy dodged Harley, she fell to the floor as she heard multiply gunshots. Harley looked up to see The Jokers lifeless body lying on the cold concrete floor. She burst into tears crawling up to his body.

"Mr J! Wake up! Please! Please don't be dead!"

"Leave him Harley, you're finally free of that demented bastard"

"You **killed** him!" Harley screamed back at Ivy

"You should be thanking me!"

Harley turned back to the Joker "Baby, wake up please, I need you. The babies need you"

"Seriously you're still on about those dumb ass hyenas?!"

"That not what I meant!" Harley yell as she held The Jokers limp body in her arms, causing his blood to stain her clothes.

Ivy's voice all of a sudden went quiet and soft "Oh my god Harley, are you…"

"Pregnant yes! And now because of you my children won't have a father to look up to"

Ivy felt terrible "Harley I'm so sorry, I didn't know that-"

Harley cut her off before Ivy could finish her apology "Oh so if I wasn't pregnant that would make everything ok?!"

"Harley I…" Ivy went to place her hand on Harley shoulder before she pulled away.

"No! Stay away from me and my family you heartless animal!" Harley turned back to mourn her beloved as Ivy began to walk away as Harley cries were echoed through the alley.

Ivy whispered silently "Forgive me…"

 **End**

XXXX

 _Hi guys,_

 _Hoped you enjoy this little HarleyXJoker story, I know I might have gotten a bit carried away with end. I wanted to see how people would react to it. Would you forgive Ivy if you were Harley?_


	7. Ending 2: Goodbye

_I had originally wanted to leave this story as it was but so many people have been messaging me for a different ending, so here it is, it's short like the rest of the story but it was kind of thrown together but I hope you still enjoy it. And if you want to know I listened to_ _ **Don't forget about me by Cloves**_ _while I was writing this ending._

Harley woke to a loud banging on the front door, she turned to the Joker who was sleeping next to her and shook him awake "Puddin' there's someone at the door," she whispered.

He slowly woke up "What?" he asked sleepily.

"There's someone banging on the door," she repeated.

He was suddenly wide awake and got out of bed grabbing Harley's bat that was lying next to the bed, he saw her start to get out of bed "Stay here, it might be the cops," he said and left the room. He got to the door and looked through the peep hole, sighing when he saw Ivy on the other side, he opened the door "Pam, please stop doing this, it's late and-"he stopped suddenly when he had to duck as she pulled out a gun and shot at him "What the hell?!" he yelled.

He rolled out the way of the shots as she continued "She doesn't realize it now but this is what's best for her!"

When she paused the reload the gun, he saw his chance and kicked the gun out her hands and diving to grab it from where it landed before striking it across her face, knocking her unconscious. At that moment Harley came out of the bedroom with a robe around her "Mr J! She screamed noticing her friend lying on the floor and the gun in her boyfriend's hand "What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything, I answered the door and the bitch tried to shoot me!" he looked down at the unconscious body "Come on, we're leaving," he said grabbing her hand.

Ivy slowly regain conscious, she groaned feeling the side of her head and looked around, noticing she was still in Joker's hideout "Harley?!" she called but no one responded.

Once she had gotten up she noticed something was different about the place, the TV was missing and not just the tv but multiple things around the house had disappeared. She suddenly began running through the house "Harley?!" she yelled but there was none there.

When she reached the kitchen she saw a single rose sitting on the counter with a note under it, she recognised the handwriting as Harley's.

 _Dear Red_

 _You're probably really confused now that you woke up after Mr J hit you over the head and are wondering where I am but you don't know where I am and you never will. Mr J says you've been getting too crazy about me and him so he says we have to leave now. He's taken me somewhere where you will never find me but I hope someday you'll be ok with me and Mr J, until then you won't see me again, I was gonna tell you tomorrow but I'm pregnant. Mr J's gonna be a daddy! I'm sorry you can't see this from my perspective._

 _Goodbye Red_

 _Harley_

Ivy stared at the paper, she wanted to see Harley again but she would never be ok with Harley and Joker's relationship. Harley had to choose between her or Joker and she choose Joker. Ivy walked out of the abandoned hideout knowing she would never see Harley Quinn again.


End file.
